New puppy, feeling very anxious

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New puppy, feeling very anxious

Postby drhooke » Fri Oct 04, 2019 8:55 am

Hi everyone,

I am new to the board, had lurked for quite a while before bringing home our Whippet puppy bruce, who is almost 10 weeks. He’s been home with us for 1 week tomorrow. I’ve actually never posted on any message board before, but I am really feeling low and very anxious over the puppy, even though he is absolutely beautiful and, I think, behaving really well. I’m just having real concerns about whether or not I’ve done the right thing. I’m sorry, this will be very ramble, but I’m having a hard time putting a sentence together!
I think what I’m struggling with the most is his attachment to me, which I’m sure sounds horrible! But I feel absolutely trapped and he cries if I leave the room for a split second. We are trying to crate train - he sleeps well in it at night, it’s right by our bed. But if I put him in it during the day when he is awake he absolutely screams. I know he is a baby and I can’t possibly expect him to be happy being alone but I worry so much about feeling resentment towards him and I’m just wondering if he will ever be ok when he’s not near me. We are lucky that our neighbour is really lovely. I don’t think she can really hear him if he cries and if she could, she would be understanding, so I could let him cry it out but I worry that I will traumatise him.
My husband works full time and I work a couple of (random) days a week. The rest of the week I am home but I have recently started a PhD and need to be working on that when I am home. I’m so worried this won’t work and that we’ll never find a routine. All the research I did didn’t prepare me at all and I’m not sleeping, due more to nerves than Bruce!
I am prone to some nervousness but I have never felt like this before. I have to leave him next Tuesday afternoon (today is Friday) and I am in an almost blind panic thinking about it. It’s just such a bad spiral of anxiety and emotion and I feel like I’m just not taking good care of this sweet baby. One thing I am confident about is that I absolutely love him. I just worry that my sanity will not hold out until we get into some kind of routine and that the rest of my life will fall apart before we get there.
I’m sorry this is so negative. My brain is absolutely gone. I’m sure I’ve left out so many important details. I’ve read so many helpful things on here but I don’t feel like I’m processing anything and I really need to reach out to someone as I’m feeling actually really lonely.

Thank you so much for reading.

Danielle & Bruce
drhooke
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Re: New puppy, feeling very anxious

Postby MarciaInNM » Mon Oct 07, 2019 11:46 pm

Hi Danielle,

And congratulations on your little fellow! He is still a baby and until you got him, he had family around him all the time. It's an adjustment for him to spend any time alone. At first they are just sure that something will come and eat them up when you aren't right there with them. That's an instinct that helps them stay with their pack and keep safe, but it doesn't help much if you have to leave him to go to the store.

With my first puppy, she freaked out if I left her in her pen and went in to take a shower! But she gradually learned that she was safe when I left and that I would always come back. I did get an exercise pen, about 4 ft. by 4 ft., with a top (very important!) and got her used to spending some time in there when I was in the room, and then gradually build up the amount of time I was away, from a few seconds, up to a couple hours. She had a puppy bed, chewy and squeaky toys, water and I'd put her in with a few treats. You can also fill up the rubber Kong toy with some canned food or other treats and freeze it, to make it take longer for him to get the goodies out. At first he may be too stressed to eat any treats when you aren't there.

Maybe having a radio on would keep him a little company and muffle the crying a bit? The first couple weeks are the hardest, but it does get better.
Marcia
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Re: New puppy, feeling very anxious

Postby MACB » Wed Oct 09, 2019 9:58 am

Don't worry - it will change! I was exactly the same as you but just be patient, calm and keep up the training in the crate and it will work.

I also had major anxiety for the first two weeks - leaving her for fifteen minutes for the first time in her crate was so awful - for me, not her - and I was so nervous.

I know it doesn't seem like it now but it will be so wonderful in a few weeks. Just keep reminding yourself the crying is probably just like a toddler tantrum. To get attention. Our girl whined in her crate for about 10 minutes a time for a few days even when I was sat right next to it. Eventually she stopped (and by eventually I mean a day or two - they work out what behaviour gets them what they want really fast!) and now she's the most naughty, cute, lovely dog who is fine to be left in her crate for up to 4 hours a day if we need to.

She's just turned 4 months and I've also noticed she's sleeping a lot more now as well which makes it even easier.

Good luck, keep going, it will be fine.
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